Two Bars, Three Stars

Lying out Loud

2008-03-03T08:08:00.001-08:00

I guess I have come to accept that people for the sake of convenience will use "netspeak" or "chatspeak" for all possible written correspondence, but with convenience we must not let the wolf of insincerity sneak into the livestock-tending field that is today's Internet. In my communique with co-workers using electronic means, I am often told that my colleague is "[laughing out loud]" at something that has been said or done. I am not offended that they choose to use a term populated by 12 year old girls. However, the very base of me is shaken by the silence accompanying the typed slang.

Do you think I can't hear that you're not laughing? Not laughing at all, not even a giggle. (Full disclosure: your blogmaster commonly types "haha" as if to express amusement electronically, since this is not a statement of what he is actually doing at that time.)

Does this disconnect signify something greater? Is society slowly losing its footing in a digital realm where accountability can always be avoided. Cases in point: People who make physical (!) threats to each other on the response boards appearing below YouTube videos; and anonymous bloggers.

It confounds me as to why this posturing is necessary, or perhaps more troubling, why something has come to be used for a purpose what is inherently the opposite of what is intended for. Laughing... Out Loud, it should be used as when one has been made to chuckle, not a simple robotic response to what is viewed as an attempt at humor. What if other facets of our society worked like this?

You walk into your favorite deli in March and buy some corned beef, and you put mustard on it and eat it. It is tremendous, even without a bun. It truly is worth the stains you carry with you back to your corner office. In June you go to the same place and make the same order, only to find that you have been served tofu made to taste like corned beef, and no amount of mustard and lack of bun is going to make you happy. This time the stains on your your pants might be blood stains -- unfortunately not cow blood. The butcher might say, "Well I originally used the 'corned beef sign' to sell what was actually salted cow flesh, but when I was shipped different products, I kept using the sign, because it was the only sign that went in that spot and it has always signified that the food behind it tasted like corned beef."

My colleagues who type "lol" when they are not truly laughing out loud, are these butchers, using the same answer to anything considered funny, no matter the actual substance behind it.

Strike One

2008-02-04T14:42:00.000-08:00

Day One of the cab strike in opposition to the upcoming meter system seems to have been a success. In thirty minutes of walking from Foggy Bottom to Adams Morgan, I saw only one cab.

The next strike is set for next tuesday, then the following Wednesday and so on.

Around the city today areas that are normally overrun with cabs -- specifically hotels entrances -- were completely cab-free. We have now been shown that nearly all operators are against the meters, either because they have done the math themselves and decided it would hurt business, or because they have decided to stand by their compatriots, for whatever reason.

In addition to arguing that meters would take money out of their pockets, cabbies claim they are standing up for riders who do not want to get in a cab not knowing what the fare will be. This argument is bogus for many more reasons than I'd care to get into, but I first would argue the opposite point: that knowing a ride will be $10 is big deterent, while thinking a ride could be $5 or $6 would convince many walkers to ride, even though their final fare might be a few dollars more.

The rolling strikes are an effective display, but a display is all it can be, because it also shows the city that cabbies won't strikes consistently if they don't get their way.

Fenty knew this would be no easy battle, as the concept is a rare on in DC government affairs, and today's strike provides him with concrete evidence that the cabbies have effectively unified against the meters. Maybe they will be able to bring city back to the bargaining table, but that seems doubtful, as the law has been passed, and the only thing more cumbersome than rolling out the meter system would be to go back and try to amend the legislation

Meters will change the cab business in D.C., for better or for worse, and most cabbies, despite their participation in strikes, will be able to make a living with the meter system, perhaps even a better living given increased rider willingness to use their service on a cold morning or rainy night.

... a Village of Camermen

2008-02-02T23:41:00.001-08:00

Clinton's Wife Not Photogenic

Hill, baby, what can we do to help? I know those cameramen all look like Rush Limbaugh in disguise, but you gotta stop making maniacal faces in front of them. Aside from introducing the use of one's spouse on a resume, you've given us front page photos that are harder to look at than those of the half-decomposed icemen scientists periodically dig up.

Cause and (Das) Efex

2008-02-01T11:51:00.000-08:00

The debate over violence in hip-hop is not a new one, nor is it very focused, but D.C. has had its own experience with controversy surrounding actual violence at shows. The waning of D.C.'s own derivative of funk, go-go, provides a useful look at the way perception of an art form as a source of violence both hinders the music and ignores the actual problems facing the community.

People have been murdered at go-go concerts.. However, it would be naive to say that violent acts are prompted by music, or even the scene that accompanies them. Violence, particularly gun violence is prevalent in the same society in which go-go, and hip-hop on a nationwide scale, was cultivated and still thrives today.

If there were no go-go scene in D.C. or if rap were not embraced by record companies as it is, not a single murder would have been prevented. People from violent backgrounds are more prone to violence. The music people enjoy is often derived from the society they view themselves a part of, or perhaps vice versa, but either way, the violence is not dependent on musical tastes.

Rappers who use violent lyrics to sell records are simply older versions of teenage punks who use violence to get respect. While it might be played up to attract an audience, the material used is not new to these rappers. The type of bragging that goes along with a street culture that places such a premium on respect is going to breed a lot of hyperbole in that culture's music, but by no means is the hyperbole that springs from the music an originating source of the more desperate acts.
Once, rappera like KRS-One announced themselves as ghetto spokesmen, confronting America with a harsh and violent reality many did not experience, but could not ignore. The late 80s were a more violent time in urban American than the current decade -- no one could dispute that fact. However, rappers who now appear on MTV and BET have stopped reporting on the streets and have cast themselves as the evil figures represented by KRS. Record sales have skyrocketed as white people currently buy about 80% of rap music. The effect of this is that record executives order more violent music. However, the violence proliferating in music does not start there.
KRS may have had better intentions thans 50 Cent, but no one would say his rhymes caused the quelling of murder statistics that would accompany the early to mid-90s, just as 50 Cent's music is not responsible for whatever spikes in violence may occur.

But back to go-go, after a wave of violence surrounding the scene in the late 80s to early 90s the art form lost its mass appeal, as many did not want to put themselves into an environment they viewed as dangerous, and they are not wrong to do so. However, those at fault are the people who believe that by closing go-go venues, that the bad men will simply put grudges aside. By ignoring the fact that violence exists without weekly concerts, these people are abandoning the community.
Those who slander the music are destroying a strong cultural touchstone, which has the power to improve lives, or at the very least provide entertainment after a long day of work.
We should commend the artists who preach a message of peace, because rather than seeing the music as a cause of violence, they understand that it brings people together, and provides a chance to deal with the violence as a community.

Take Me Out to the Go-Go has an interesting interview with Big Sixx of the Raw Image Band that discusses the relationship between violence and go-go.

Cheaper Fares, At What Cost?

2008-01-29T16:20:00.000-08:00

We have all heard that the Mayor and City Council have ordered that DC cabs switch from the current, and quite frustrating, zone system to the meter system that is used successfully in cities throughout the world. But how soon will this ruling affect our everyday lives as city residents?
The mayor has said the meters will be operating by April, but many are doubting the city's ability to oversee a relatively quick transition on such a scale.

Under the meter system, the base fare will be three dollars. For most trips, the new fares will be cheaper, although there are exceptions as trips extend to the outer reaches of a second zone. Prices under the meter system also are subject to additional charges for heavier traffic, which can reach $2.00.

Cabbies have threatened rolling strikes starting in February to protest the change, but the more effective way to make their point would be to simply not install a meter. Given the number of small cab companies in D.C., the switch will be up to operators and operators alone. Fines will likely be handed out, but the city needs a way to encourage (or scare) the more independent and reluctant operators in order for the change to truly take effect. Fenty and company must also address cabbies' perception that that new prices could impact their ability to make a living, perhaps through an advertising or public relations campaign. Included in the effort to convince them meters are good for business could even be a tactful threat of fines.

Drivers must understand the effect on residents that widespread adoption of meters would have. Once it becomes known that most cabs have meters, drivers will pick up more fares because the average person will know that any cab they see probably has installed a meter, and thus will have a new willingness -- of a varying degree based on the individual -- to get in the cab.
However, if operators take advantage of lax regulation and delay the complete transition, the average resident would assume that the cabs they see still run on zones, and thus would be unwilling to pay a price they can finally say is actually illegal.
As a point of reference, my trip in to work, from Adams Morgan to Foggy Bottom, will drop from $8.80 to 5.50 should I take a cab with a meter rather than one charging by zones, according to the Washington Post's handy fare calculator.
Few believe the government will be able to deliver on the April promise, and for good reason, so let's, as the people whom the change is meant to benefit, ask any cabbies we encounter what they think of the switch to meters. Let them know what a pleasant change the price drop would be, and that we will become increasingly unwilling to pay zone rates anymore. Personally, I know I would take a cab about 15% of the time I currently walk or drive somewhere in the city should the meters become commonplace. However, I'm not sure cabbies understand just how beneficial this slight change in so many people would be to their livelihood.

Still Got It!

2008-01-29T06:32:00.000-08:00

In his final State of the Union address on Monday, President Bush reminded us that he although the name plate on his desk may say President, he is still King of the "one-liner followed by smirk."
When discussing efforts to end his tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans, he said opponents of the cut "have said they would personally be happy to pay higher taxes." He added, "I welcome their enthusiasm, and I am pleased to report that the IRS accepts both checks and money orders."

Do you think they'll laugh at me if I send one of my Hannah Montana checks?

REDSKINS: "Look at 'em Squirm, Vinny"

2008-01-28T17:06:00.000-08:00

How did Daniel Snyder and Vinny Cerrato get so far away from the hopes and suggestions of their fans, not to mention common sense? First there was the speculation of whether the couple would choose the hotshot Super Bowl-winning early retiree or the man who had been promised the job a few years ago. It's been tricky following every step, but where these two are now I don't think the million monkeys who write Shakespeare could have predicted. Personally being removed from the interests of the team, I was sad to see Williams finally canned yesterday. I was also said for him not to make it to the prestigious and lonely mark of interviewing a dozen times for a job his contracted promised he would have -- in just these circumstances.

The boys running the team could have taken a page from the playbook of the Great Confuser Bill Belichick, but the smart money (mine) is on the two of them just having so much darn fun running a football team, that they've lost sight of the seriousness of the matter. As I type I know grown men probably less than a hundred yards away are racked with doubt over the pending announcement that "Who was reported to have signed at 10a.m. this morning?!!"

From what i hear of Cerrato, he would be lucky to clean floors at another NFL franchise, but Snyder has never been one to pay attention to anyone's performance while paying them-- the number of Williams interviews assured the Cynic of this. Also, what's the fun for Danny in playing the imagination game by yourself? Sadly they might be the only two men in the NFL who take each other seriously.
Well, since we're bashing Pretzel Boy, I guess you could include Tom Cruise in that group and make it the only three people in the country.

Now to football, the hiring of Jim Zorn has made many wonder what kind of coach wants to enter a system where major assistants have been chosen by the Snyder and Cerrato. Jerry Jones has done it before and won, but let's be honest, that's why he's Jerry Jones.

Bill Cowher was gone before he even entered the picture, but that hasn't stopped fans from mentioning him as if this is all an elaborate dance before Snyder will successfully pursue and offer the job to the Steel Chin. Nothing Snyder has done has swayed their focus from Cowher, and inspired venom for other names being seriously considered, as the false reports of Fassel's hiring almost brought mobs to the streets from Damascus to Clifton. I guess all you can do is cross your fingers and hope Danny comes to his senses, because whatever reasoning he has used has been foreign to the football-reporting world.

The team denied Fassel's hiring, but those reports must have come from somewhere, and we should not question Snyder's willingness to not make his decision after one sit-down. Word is spreading that Zorn and Indianapolis Colts Defensive Coach Ron Meeks are Fassel's own hand-picks, but given all the talk the story has generated, it is hard to believe something that logical. For that matter, what's the use in writing about it? Let's pour one out for missed opportunities Danny! (note: the Cynic will be reporting on the ongoing search and eventual hiring.)

Death Penalty for Gun Possession, Right?

2008-01-28T11:32:00.001-08:00

Please consider two recent news stories: the shooting death of Redskins safety Sean Taylor and a home invasion in Olney, Md. where the homeowner came home to find the burglar in his garage. In both cases, innocent men simply protecting their homes were shot by men who had no reason to have a gun except to make themselves feel safe while committing a crime. I beg the question: Would either of these burglars feel the same need to carry a deadly weapon to a non-violent crime if it carried the death penalty?

Anyone found with an illegal firearm should be subject to capital punishment. Of course a judge would have to approve of the sentence being handed down, and self defense would provide some sticky goings at first. But after the law was accepted, and thus feared, imagine the effect it would have on city crime reports.
If you decide that a cause is important enough to need a deadly weapon, then the state should remove you from society. This is not a matter of rights, it is a matter of living in a society and possessing something designed solely to kill. (Take it easy, D.C. has outlawed guns completely for years, I am not speaking about hunters.)

Once someone picks up and loads a gun, anything can happen, the damage to society has been done. A split second of bad judgment, or worse no judgment at all, can end countless lives. For this reason, the societal worth of someone holding a gun becomes a negative value. I am sick of peaceful and well-meaning people who pay taxes and try to do good being scared of stupid street thugs looking for respect from their stupid peers. DC has outlawed guns for a while now, but the law needs teeth.
Drop the drug laws and focus on guns. Yes, I know drugs kill too, but deaths connected to drugs are almost always tied to guns. Drug dealers are bad, but an idiot with a gun is exponentially worse. Small charges for gun possession has not convinced these morons to put down the heat, because they see it happen to people and after they "do a bid" they reemerge with more cred than ever.

I don't know where I heard this, but its true: "Going to jail only makes a criminal into a better criminal." Going to the electric chair however, has a different effect. No one ever accidentally has a gun, as is the case with doing something stupid while drunk or even robbing a store, or a person, when hungry.

Capitol punishment for gun possession would seek to change the drug game because we cannot expect to eliminate it. I am not imagining that this law would completely eradicate gun possession, but it would make the average street kid, specifically a thief or burglar, think thrice before choosing to use deadly force to resolve some argument he would probably forget soon anyway.
Economically speaking, if this law would go into affect, illegal gun prices would go way up, as people would be less willing to deal in mass quantities, thus petty thugs would have trouble getting them, and eventually, hopefully, American homeowners would no longer feel the need to have them in the same home as the very children they hope to protect.

To those who may see this as a cold and inhuman idea, please consider the principle of deterrence -- the same one that kept the U.S. and U.S.S.R. from destroying the world for decades. If someone knows that an action will result in their annihilation, the chance of them committing the act is severely lessened. So long as the gun is a staple of the inner-city the death penalty should be attached to it.

Where did Dick come from?

2008-01-28T11:15:00.000-08:00

I never knew why Dick was a nick-name for Richard, but the other day while walking along, I saw a reason to stop thinking and just accept the name- shortening as reasonable.

After having my lovely talk-radio podcast interrupted by two fire trucks and an ambulance rushing north on Florida Ave. NW at S St. NW, I continued walking up hill toward Connecticut, but as I got far enough up the hill, I saw the trucks waiting at the intersection of Florida and Connecticut, sirens still blaring, still louder than the four idiots talking my headphones. "What would stop two fire truck and an ambulance,?" I thought, but just then I could almost hear it: "National security, you stupid atheist-progressive," being screamed screamed at me, in nonverbal tones, by that guy in VP Dick Cheney's entourage who gets the cool job of hanging out the window of the black SUV holding one hell of a gun and sporting fingerless gloves (maybe it's Andrew Dice Clay). Motorcycle cops had actually blocked the intersection while Cheney's entourage (about 10 bikes, 3 trucks and 2 limos, for those who have not seen it gallivanting around town) traveled north on Connecticut. The life-saving vehicles could only wait for the second0 most powerful official in the world hurried back to (possibly) release his loose bowels in his Naval Observatory commode.
Now granted, I am no huge fan of the Bush group, and maybe i could be wrong about what I saw. Maybe the ambulance simply got to the intersection too late, or maybe the lead driver even waved the motorcade on through. Or maybe Osama bin Laden was suspected to have joined FDW1 (the ward 1 fire department, for those of you who have foolishly forgotten the lessons of 9/11) and was planning to make Cheney's motorcade wait 30 seconds at the cross-street when Jose Padilla would set off his dirty bomb, killing both the infidels they hate and the gays of Dupont Circle that the American fundamentalists hate .

Now I realize some may think it's really "cool" that Cheney has such power and such a badass entourage, with the window gunmen and all, but as a taxpayer, I say keep the armored vehicles in Baghdad, Beirut and other places that suck, rather than downtown DC. Does Homeland Security really mean treating the streets of our capital city like a war zone?

I know that no one probably died or no property was burnt to the ground in the 2 minutes the motorcade made the emergency vehicles wait, but what a gesture it have been to see the motorcade move out of the rescuers' way. That would be true respect for the idea of Homeland Security.

Just getting comfortable

2008-01-28T10:45:00.000-08:00

I have never understood the allure of the weblog, however, I figured that given the amount of free time my job presents me with, and my aspirations of one day having some influence over something, I might as well see how well I can do at getting YOU to read what I think. I can promise nothing but hope I can entertain you with the raw, dirty, selfish, sexy and sometimes smelly thoughts I must not voice as I sit in this goddamn cubicle confronted with the news of the day, from any source possible. Thank you and enjoy. The stewardess will be by to take your drink orders momentarily.
Welcome to Fabulous Capital Sadist!